mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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