he thought i was a dude.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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