I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
