Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
