Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
