sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
