if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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