i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
