Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
