Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
