I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
