dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
