Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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