i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize