i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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