It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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