So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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