It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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