I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
