I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
