If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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