Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
