You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
