Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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