...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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