my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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