her vagine was all disorganized.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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