I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
