So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She said her name was "party"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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