if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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