Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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