hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
