Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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