I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
