I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
