I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
