I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
