i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize