My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
