i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
