I'm so fucking centered right now
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I understand Curling. That high.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
