I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
