Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize