I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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