I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
