I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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