hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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