i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
