R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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