If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
being pregnant is like rehab
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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