Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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