she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
