When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
