I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize