Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
