Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
