Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
