Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
