I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
