and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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