Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
