Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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