He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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